And I'm not even joking. There has been no formal diagnosis, just an epiphany on my part of late. See, I tend to be terrific at planning projects and adding to my "to do" list. Actually, I even have a "should do" list that is lurking in the background with a full supply of guilt over the things I don't want to face like dusting under the refrigerator and cleaning out the coat closet. AHHHH!
My "to do" list is full of beautiful, magical, creative things that would make Martha Stewart proud. Want to make a video of pictures for an upcoming birthday/anniversary/graduation? I'm full of ideas! Have a hankering to try a new painting technique or refinish hardwood floors? I'm all over it! Want to take on various craft projects for favorite daughter Brig, whose "wants" outweigh her motivation to help? Sure! Committed to blogging in 2011? Heck yeah! Want to get up every morning at 4:50 to "finally get on a regular work-out routine with P90X? Abso-freaking-lutely! Again, I am great at the idea and planning thing...it's in the follow through that things fall apart.
Add to the above the things everyone in the world struggles with; work (those papers wont grade themselves), grocery shopping, walking dogs, paying bills, reading the stack of books and magazines I have accumulated, multiple email accounts, a full Yahoo Reader with items I felt I HAD to keep up on, phone calls to family, facebook, and a DVR about to explode with hunky crime scene detectives and and characters who aren't so young and restless anymore...I'm overwhelmed just thinking about it all.
So, where to go from here....that is the question that I have been pondering of late. All of the things listed above are things that I truly want to do. And honestly, all of them will get done. Some will be done lovingly with the time and attention they deserve, while others will be in sort of a I've-procrastinated-as-long-as-I-can-and-now-I-resent-the-whole-thing sort of way. The problem I seem to be having is balance.
There, of course, is a plethora of advice out there about how to live a balanced life. Recommendations that I take "helicopter view" of my life, so that I can bring things back into balance only left me feeling like I was the maddeningly hard to find Waldo amidst the swarming scenes that make up my days. Another site told me to focus on doing one thing at a time. If I could do that, I would NOT be a female. My multitasking is the only thing keeping a roof over our heads, the teenager fed and the animals alive. Good grief. The advice to "clean up my surroundings" was really helpful. It helped me stress because things might be too cluttered and that clutter might lead to stress. Yowza...
Finally, I hit upon one that seems to work for me. "Have a mantra." I liked these:
- Look for the second right answer.
- Question everything, but don't forget to listen to the answers.
- Being sarcastic and bitchy is part of my mystique.
- Stop overestimating others and underestimating yourself.
- Perfection isn't an option.
- Think prosperously!
and of course, one of my favorites....Bigger snacks means bigger slacks. Such wisdom, right? =]
I will continue to ponder which suits me, or I will fashion one that is uniquely my own. In addition, I will strive to calm the chaos that comes with life and simply stop and enjoy - smell the roses, if you will. I guess that's ultimately what life's about anyway.
Hey, maybe that tired "smell the roses" cliche should be my mantra....
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